Battle Girls: Time Paradox Remix
by AURyuichi-san
Summary: What if Yoshino "Hideyoshi" Hide had used her poor luck as an incentive to get stronger so she wouldn't be caught off guard. Follow a less air-headed and stronger modern kunoichi Hideyoshi as she meets the female versions of important historical figures and gets caught up in history. R&R.


Disclaimer: I do not own Battle Girls: Time Paradox

Warning: This will most likely be a yuri pairing. g/g, if you don't know. Rating may change later, T for now to be safe.

_Thoughts _

"_Speakers or eavesdropping_"

_All italics "is a flashback."_

* * *

><p><em>Ever since I was little, trouble has always followed me. <em>I frowned deeply as the people around me squished my small frame, the train occasionally shifting below and making us all sway. _My habit of getting into trouble through no fault of my own, my bad luck, motivated me to be better prepared to handle any situation and since most of them involved reflexes and strength, I decided to take up martial arts, but not just any martial arts. Ninjutsu. The modern day was rather amazing as you could even find a dojo that teaches something like ninjutsu. I learned conflict diffusion, body conditioning, defense in any environment and situation, defense against multiple armed attacks, pressure point applications, stealth, ground fighting, hand to hand defensive/offensive techniques to combat against armed or unarmed opponents and much more. I learned to fight with knives, staffs, manriki, rope, naginata, hojojutsu, shoge, and other modern and traditional weapons. I even learned anti-rape and anti-abduction techniques, as well as how to use almost anything as a weapon like my bag, a pen, my cell phone, keys and other every day things. I never knew when my incredibly bad luck would take a turn for the worst and I wasn't taking any chances. _

"_The doors on the right will slide open. Please be careful,_" the man on the speaker announced, making me let out a discreet sigh of relief.

"Finally there," I grimaced as I had to catch myself from tripping and stumbling when the train came to an abrupt halt, glad for my training.

"Move! Move! I'm getting off!" I shouted angrily as I shoved away the men in my way, not even trying to get out of the way. I ignored their shouts of protest as I managed to make it out of the train in time, shoving past the clamber of people trying to get _on _the train. People were so rude and if I didn't act so forward and rude, a girl with a small frame like me would get pushed aside. I'm glad I had such strength from training for my small frame.

* * *

><p>I sat at my desk thinking of how often I used to be late before my ninjutsu training and when I was more reserved and couldn't really yell at people or shove them aside when I needed to. My anger at the unfair situations that came upon me and in the end getting blamed for them fueled my more abrasive personality to form. It's not like I was really impolite, just more outspoken and more forward when I needed to be. My friends still told me that I was too nice for my own good, but I didn't really get why as they always told me at such random times.<p>

"Oda Nobunaga was born in 1534," the teacher recaptured my attention. My studies in ninjutsu had me become interested in their history and therefore the history of Japan itself and I found myself admiring the age of generals and samurais and such in our country's history. "He is, without any doubt, the most famous general of the warring states era. Beginning with his unification of Owari, in 1559, continuing with the battle of Okehazama against Imagawa Yoshimoto..." I started to tune her out as I daydreamed about the epic battles they must have had and the skilled ninja he must have had at his disposal, but in no way was I delusioned to think that it was wonderful as I knew war was an ugly thing that took many innocent lives.

"Hide-san," the teacher called sharply, making me sit at attention. "Spacing out again?" She asked making me laugh sheepishly and rub the back of my head.

_But I never imagined what was going to happen to me soon..._

* * *

><p>"This is the fifth time this week, Hide-san," the teacher said as I examined all her warring states era paraphernalia. I always loved coming to her office to look at them. I loved examining the weapons to test their weight against my own. They were undoubtedly heavier but not by much which heartened me as that meant I could get used to the heavier weight easily.<p>

"I can't help it, I just think of the battles between the great generals and my imagination runs wild," I replied idly, examining the helmet that stood on the podium.

"Ah! Don't touch that!" She shouted.

"Eh? Date-sensei, you're so stingy," I pouted at her.

"I'm not," she sighed. "Anyways, can't you just focus on the lesson?" She asked.

"It's hard to focus when I already studied it on my own," I replied. "I'm already making the best effort I can."

"You can't focus by taking notes on what I write?" I pouted at that as it would be a good method.

"I suppose," but it was such a waste of paper since I knew the material already. Date-sensei just sighed at me.

"I guess it's good enough if you understand. Now you should go home and study. It doesn't hurt to brush up on the material with the test coming up,"she said. I just sighed.

* * *

><p>"Why can't she just let me be? So I space out in her class. It's not like my grades suffer because of it." I complained as I put on my outdoor shoes.<p>

"That's true. You know a lot about what we're studying too, like Toyotomi Hideyoshi. It makes sense though since your nickname is Hideyoshi," my friend Toku-nyan said. I smiled at her.

"Thanks, Toku-nyan, but I prefer Toyotomi Hidekichi," I replied.

"Hidekichi... I guess calling you Hideyoshi because your name is Hide Yoshino is pretty straightforward," Akerin, my taller friend said.

* * *

><p>I sighed as I walked home, but decided to visit the shrine when I heard a guy talking about kami granting his wishes. I doubted that but it wouldn't hurt to pray a little, maybe for some better luck? I climbed the steps easily, glad that my training allowed me to climb them with little effort. I made it to the top to see that no one was there, not that it bothered me. I looked around a bit more to see a table with omikuji fortunes and decided to try it out. I smiled when I saw a good luck wooden gourd charm on sale for four hundred yen and decided to buy it, quickly putting it on my cell phone after paying.<p>

"Yosh! Perfect!" I said aloud. "Maybe this'll make Date-sensei stop bothering me!" I decided. I frowned when I belatedly remembered I haven't prayed yet. I almost cried when I saw that I only had one yen left in my purse. "This is all that's left of my month's allowance. I sighed and put my hands together, yen pinched between my pointing finger and thumb. "I only have this much right now, but I'll pay the rest once I get my allowance," I promised. "Hmm, did I do that right?" I looked up slightly in question, dropping my one yen and making it roll on the edge of the stand to the floor and behind the podium. "Ah, my prayer money..." I muttered as I trotted over and leaned down to find it only to be distracted by a bright blue light coming from inside the shrine.

I looked up only to see no light, but it flashed again, disappearing slowly. My curiosity got the best of me and I peaked in through the window and saw the amazing sight of a woman, back facing me, sitting on the floor with a magic circle of some kind beneath her, lifting into the air in an intricate pattern, a box beside her and her hair billowing in the wind the circle seemed to produce.

"Amazing..." I murmured as I leaned closer, my bag shifting when I did so and hitting the door with a thump. The woman looked over startled. I gasped and stepped back when she looked over, tripping over something small and round that had me falling back onto the prayer stand. I instinctively grabbed at the rope of the prayer bell to catch my fall only for it to come off and head towards my face. I rolled off the stand in my panic and stumbled back into the doors, opening them and unable to gain stable footing as I stumbled backwards. Whoever was in the room stood to steady me, but it seems she allowed whatever force she was controlling to run loose as it distorted the air and grew brighter.

"Shit!" She cursed right before a bright blue light burst through the shrine and engulfed my senses. The last thing I thought before I blacked out was that I really hated my luck.

* * *

><p>I woke up slowly to the feel of soft grass beneath me, breathing in the cleanest air I've ever had the pleasure of breathing, and seeing an amazingly clear night littered with stars I could never see on a city night. I sat up slowly, taking everything into account. My bag was an arms length away from me and it was amazingly dark, pitch black if not for soft light the stars provided and I was in the middle of dense woods.<p>

"...I blacked out after a bright blue flash in a shrine...and woke up in a forest? A mountain?" I speculated. I looked to my right to see a towering inferno in a break in the trees. "What?" When I got over the shock of being in a different place, I grabbed my bag and ran to the fringe of the forest to get a look. I noticed how old the buildings looked, all single floor and very spaced out. A village. "On fire!" I felt the panic begin to seep in as I wanted to call the fire department, but I didn't think that I could. I spotted someone down the hill, holding someone else and decided to take action rather than silently panic.

"Excuse me!" I called as I made my way down, running to her in worry. "Are you alright? Is there any way to put out the-" I paused when I noticed the revealing samurai type armor the taller woman was wearing and gasped when I saw the familiar bespectacled face. "A-Akerin?!" I exclaimed in confusion. They looked so similar but they couldn't actually be the same, could they? There were a few minor differences but not many. "N-ne, do you know what's going on? I visit a shrine and suddenly I'm close to a burning village. Ah! We need to put out the fire-"

"What are you talking about?" She cut in sharply. "I don't know you!" She barked. I stiffened at that, but didn't have a chance to respond before my eyes sharpened and I looked to the right to see an oncoming weapon. Before I could dodge on my own, the Akerin look alike pushed me out of the way, a hoe landing where I was standing, and pulled out three kunai per hand. "Villains!" She cursed at them

"N-ninja..." I muttered before looking at the group of vagabonds that were attacking us, "samurai, soldiers, bandits?" I questioned in shock and confusion. The picture that I wasn't in my own era was becoming clearer, but I don't remember any Japanese history where women soldiers were a thing...besides kunoichi.

"We'll talk later," the woman standing protectively in front of me ground out. "Were you the ones that attacked this village?!" She questioned the group harshly. The group of rag tag women only chuckled as they stepped closer, forcing the woman to step back. I pulled my bag to me and discreetly pulled out senbon needles and shuriken I had hidden in them, hiding them in my sleeve and waistband for easy access and preparing to aid the kunoichi in front of me despite my lack of real fighting experience. It was still and tense for a moment until a beam fell from the entrance of the burning building near us, the group took it as their cue to attack and charged, but before either my defender or I could defend, the building suddenly burst into a cloud of smoke from some kind of strong gust, being destroyed easily and I looked over to see a powerful caped figure walking towards the remaining fire, dispelling it easily with her large weapon and revealing a voluptuous, strong looking woman in revealing general attire like my protector and Akerin look alike.

I stared at the busty woman in awe as the building behind her fully collapsed and she glared menacingly at the attacking group of women, grunting a little in displeasure. "Blade of cruelty!" She shouted as she lifted her large weapon sky high and grinned as she bore it down to the ground, releasing a beam of spiraling red energy cackling with black lightning and absolutely blowing the enemies away with a single blast. I only watched the scene in growing shock and disbelief, having only seen such things in manga and anime.

"My lord!" The Akerin look alike called, running to the beautiful woman's side. My eyes remained glued forward to the sight of the burning village.

"Oi," I gasped and turned to the buxom woman, one hand on her hip as she looked down at me. "Who are you?" She asked in a superior and rude way, only making me respect her further. Her tone and way of speaking was gruff and added to her powerful image.

"H-Hide Yoshino," I stuttered out, surprised as I hadn't stuttered in a long time, but her intense stare unnerved me and made me feel shy and hesitant. "W-well," I gave a nervous smile, "people call me Hideyoshi," I said, my smile easing my uncertainty a little. The woman looked a little surprised at that, whether at my name or smile I wasn't sure, but I lost focus on that when she smiled at me.

"Hideyoshi, ka?" She repeated. "A good name."

* * *

><p>I stepped out of the bathroom in amazement. An olden days toilet. "I never thought I'd use one," I murmured to myself as I climbed the steps. I followed them like they asked, but...I'm still confused as to where I am...or more accurately <em>when <em>I am, not to mention why roles that were supposedly filled by men were filled by women here. Was this some kind of alternate universe? I pondered this as I made my way to the room from before, admiring the beautifully decorated shoji.

"I'm terribly sorry for this incident," the Akerin look alike apologized to the powerful red head, bowing like a samurai, a loyal servant, as her apparent master sat on a throne like chair.

"It isn't your fault. Don't worry about it," the beautiful woman replied from her seat. I tuned them out as I examined the living history around me more closely, noticing how the woman smoked on a long pipe. I sighed silently and decided to see if the map on my phone would work to at least know where I was and make sure that I wasn't in some strange super role playing area of some kind. I dug through my bag and took out my cell phone, sliding it open and ignoring the beeping sounds it made as I searched for my maps.

"What is that?" The woman on the seat demanded and I realized that they had stopped talking when they heard my cell chime when I opened it. _Definitely not in the modern world,_ I thought.

"It's a cell phone, the latest model. I'm checking my GPS to see where I am, but..." My brows furrowed when the message popped up, "ah, as I thought. Out of range." I sighed. _No cell phone towers in the past...or past alternate universe? _I wasn't worried about revealing technology to them as they wouldn't know what I was talking about anyways.

"Out...of range?" She questioned as I tried to toggle with my cell to see if there was any possible way for it to work.

"It's only natural as there's no signal," I sighed, idly noticing when she came to kneel in front of me curiously.

"Signal? What are you talking about?" She asked.

"I..can't seem to get a signal," I replied as if I were talking to someone from my time, lifting my hand a little in vain before putting it closer to my face. She came a little closer.

"Like I said, what is this signal?" She asked again. I turned my phone screen to her, knowing she probably wouldn't even know where to look.

"See, it's out of range so I can't even get a bar.

"B-bar?" Seeing her confused expression was actually kind of cute so I decided to continue acting as if she would know what I was talking about, holding it a little closer for her, knowing that the walking bear background of my cell would confuse her.

"See? It's out of range," I said. "Don't you find the reception here really bad?" I asked, laughing in my head at her disgruntled expression.

"Give me that!" She snatched the phone from my hand. "This is what we do with things like this!" She said as she started to hit it against her knee armor.

"Ah! What are you doing?!" I cried as I tried to snatch it back, only for her to stand and walk away with it.

"If a cuckoo won't sing, kill it,"she replied loftily. I stilled as I easily recalled the history and recognized it as what Oda Nobunaga said. "If it is of no use, simply destroy it!" She said with a grin as she raised her blade in preparation to destroy my cell phone, my expensive cell phone. I slid to save it.

"No, no! That's alright. I'll just wait for it to work! It will definitely work later!" I said with a nervous laugh and smile. She lowered her blade in mild surprise.

"Ho~" she murmured.

"How dare you speak to my lord that way!" The Akerin look alike barked at me.

"Ma, hold on a moment," the Oda woman said, turning back to me, "Is it that important?" She asked me.

"Of course," I readily replied, "it was a gift from my mother and something I can't live without," I stretched the truth.

"I see," The Oda woman said. I immediately decided to really see if there was no reception and went to the corner of the room to wave it around in the air, vainly hoping that a bar would appear.

"It's really not getting any reception," I went on my toes, "Come on! Come on!" I urged quietly as I tried different areas in the air. "Hey, listen to me!" I pleaded to the inanimate object.

"Hey, you," the Akerin look alike called, catching my attention, "will that cell phone of yours do you any good?" She questioned skeptically. I stared down at it sadly.

"I suppose not...with no bars..." I murmured.

"My lord, this has gone far enough," she pleaded to the Oda woman. "We should get her out of the castle immediately-"

"Mitsuhide." The Oda woman cut off, her arms crossed. Oh, the Akerin look alike finally has a name. "I was thinking of having her help us," she continued. I tilted my head in confusion.

"Eh?"

"My lord! Are you feeling okay?!" Mitsuhide questioned.

"Indeed," the Oda woman said easily.

"We don't even know who she is!" Mitsuhide argued. "Even for you, my lord, this isn't funny-"

"Mitsuhide," The Oda woman cut off again, more sharply. She pointed an armored finger at her forehead. "You must try to stop thinking with this," she pointed to Mitsuhide's heart, touching her breast for a moment, "and feel with this once in a while," she finished. She looked to me, making me stiffen. "She has a strange appearance," she stated as she walked over to me, "but I think we can use her."

"Really? Her?" Mitsuhide asked skeptically, making me frown at her insulting disbelief. I stood stock still as the Oda woman loomed over me.

"There is no reason." She said with a smirk. "My heart just feels this way." I gulped and raised my hand a little.

"Um, it seems like you're talking about me even though I'm here. Actually, I'd like to go home," I said a little meekly. Her smirk faded and she gave me a contemplative look.

"Do you? Very well," she said, turning around dismissively, Mitsuhide giving me a glare before turning away too.

* * *

><p>I gripped my bag tightly as I stared at the castle I just left. "I'm definitely not close to home," I murmured to myself as I began to retrace the steps I had taken to get here. I stared at the money that they had given me to get home. "This is definitely not modern day money," I whispered as I continued walking, putting it away and taking out my history book.<p>

"Oda Nobunaga, a warring states general. Lived from 1543 to 1582..." I thought back to their introductions.

_"I'm Oda Nobunaga," the woman I had unwittingly correctly labeled in my head introduced, shocking me though I didn't allow it to show._

_"My name is Akechi Mitsuhide," her servant sullenly introduced as well, obviously not having wanted to do so. _

I turned the page, looking it over more for confirmation that I didn't incorrectly remember important historical figures as men instead of women.

_"E-Eiroku? So not Heisei..." I muttered as I packed my bags, but Mitsuhide heard me._

_"Heisei? What's that?" She questioned._

"...but why are they women? Not that I mind...maybe this is a parallel dimension or something?" I pondered. I sighed when my stomach began to growl near the end of the bridge leading out of the old style city. I sat under the tree at the end. "I'd love a hamburger and fries right now..." I said dreamily. I stiffened when I heard the approaching of someone on horseback and turned to see that it was Nobunaga on a white horse with a dark gray mane.

"What's wrong? Weren't you going home?" She asked. I stood, a little saddened to realize that this really wasn't home, but secretly pleased as I'd never really had an attachment to modern convenience or a reliance on them like other people.

"I was going to...but I can't find the path back. I don't even know where I am...I don't think I can get home," I whispered as she walked up to me. I looked up at her curiously. "But...what are you doing here?" I asked innocently, feeling my heart beat a little faster when she blushed a little and looked away.

"W-well...Ah, I was wondering if you had made it home," she managed to say. _Does...does she have a crush on me or something?...she did say her heart told her to trust me or something didn't she? _I felt my own cheeks flush when my stomach made itself known by growling again. I held it embarrassed and somehow hoping my hand would quiet it. I peeked up to see her smiling gently at me. "Are you hungry?"

"Ah...no..." I muttered, not wanting to impose.

* * *

><p>I sat politely in front of the meal brought for me a whole fish, a large bowl of rice and three side dishes. A very traditional meal, I thought as I stared at it with nostalgia. The last time I had eaten like this was during my ninjutsu training. It brought back memories.<p>

"What's wrong?" Oda brought me out of memory lane. "Weren't you hungry?" She asked from where she stood on the side observing, while Mitsuhide sat across from me, glowering. I smiled warmly at her generosity.

"I suppose you don't have mayo or ketchup," I murmured.

"Hm? Did you say something?" She asked in a strong voice, opposite my naturally soft spoken one unless I purposefully shout or try to raise my voice.

"No, nothing," I said, looking down.

"By the way, you!" Mitsuhide said sharply standing and walking towards me. "I'm told you will be relying upon our lord's beneficence," she stated as she kneeled in front of me menacingly.

"Well, I can't get home, so yes, I suppose I'll be staying over-"

"So you'll be living here for a while, right?" She cut off sharply.

"...yes, unfortunately," I replied.

"Then while you're here, make yourself useful to the lord." She commanded.

"Eh?" I asked in the most clueless voice possible just to piss the high strung woman off, snickering internally when she shut her eyes and grit her teeth in annoyance.

"Would you help me?" Oda asked me herself. I looked over Mitsuhide's shoulder to look at her. "I wish to conquer the land," she continued.

"Conquer?" I repeated, though I knew that already. "What should I do?" I asked her, genuinely wanting to know. She took a few steps forward.

"Help me find the armor," Oda replied with a smirk. I blinked as I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Ha?"

* * *

><p>"For generations, this helmet has been passed down through the Oda family," Nobunaga said as I stared at the beautiful crimson helmet with golden horns. "I'd thought it was a mere helmet and so I kept it in the storehouse, but recently, I received a scroll that described the <em>Crimson Armor<em>." She looked to me then. "This is what was written on it: The general who wears this crimson armor will certainly conquer the land," she recited. "The legend says that the general who wore this Crimson Armor, he who incurred the gods' wrath and lost his life and the armor was scattered and lost," she said as I looked at the scroll she rolled on the ground. "When I heard this legend, I thought to myself," I looked to Oda, "where can I find all the armor's pieces? It would hasten my long cherished desire of conquest, and I could unite the Land of the Rising Sun into one nation," she stated with determination, turning those intense eyes on me. I turned from my sitting position to her, my own eyes lighting with determination, but not letting the rest of my expression show it, instead smiling warmly at her.

"Un, I understand. I'll help you!" I said happily, glancing at Mitsuhide from the corner of my eye to enjoy her irked expression at my laid back attitude.

"Will you?" Oda asked with a smile. "I'm counting on you."

"Yes!" I replied eagerly, smiling happily at her.

* * *

><p>"It won't hurt to help her in exchange for housing and feeding me," I murmured as I finished using the bathroom, sliding the door open and pausing when I saw a small white dog in a helmet with a crescent moon horn. I smiled happily at the sight of the dog and kneeled down to admire the cute face it was making. "A dog! So cute! It has a helmet on, that's kind of silly," I giggled. I stiffened when its cute expression changed into a glare.<p>

"Who are you?" The dog asked in a baritone voice, shocking me stiff.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>The length of each chapter will depend on the episode and what I may add or take away from it. It depends on what I change or if it stays relatively the same based on the difference of my OOC protagonist. Thanks for reading and I hope you review, I love getting any kind of feedback(except pointless flames, I don't understand those.) Until next chapter.


End file.
